To Whom Else Have We To Go?

When I reflect over the past year I realize how incredibly blessed I have been. When I say this I am mainly talking about having been sitting up under the Word of God and learning some things at Church of the Living Water. My friend Ricky at church told me when I came a year ago that if I consistently come and listen, in one year I will be changed. At the time when he said this I did not think much of it, but now I see it as an understatement. Thank You, Jesus.

I remember the first five years of following Jesus(which I am now in my sixth year of serving the Lord), I was very, very charasmatic. Free to worship, you know how they say….anyways, even though I was “free to worship”, I had no self control whatsoever. I did not know how to keep my flesh under. I did not know Christ enough to share with others, even though inside I was dying to. But inside I was SO hungry for the Truth, and knowledge of how to really follow Jesus and how to really please Him and really truly walk beside Him. When I say hungry…it was more like starving. Thats why when I walked in service on a Wednesday night I knew I belonged here and I was so ready to commit, whereas before I could never commit to a church. I tell you what, though, my flesh was rebellious, and did not want to hear anything that would cause me to have to make effort to change. But I was like you know what I am so tired of letting my flesh rule over me, I think I am “charasmatic”, but I am really just lazy and flakey and do not have self-control. That’s real.

I am still growing so much and am eager to know Christ more perfectly and be like Him and please Him. I have a lot to learn, but I am taking my time while being serious about Him, because I want this Word to abide so deeply within me that I am aligned with Jesus all the time. Sounds like a lofty goal, but thats what I am after. My godparents think I am crazy fanatical religious now, I know. My godsister has expressed her dislike for the amount of time I spend in church. But thank God that YOU look at my heart and You know I am so hungry and I cannot be satisfied, I have to be closer to You, Lord. And really, truly, I would much rather people think I am crazy than Jesus be embarassed of me before the Father. My God. He is REALLY helping me in this area because He knows me too well.